My life started out simple on the 28th day of July, 1969. I actually started life at a little over 6 lbs and only 18 inches in length. Imagine me at that height..lol. It's almost laughable.

My life was mostly spent in Southwestern lower Michigan, USA. Poor beyond reason, but richer than most. I had love from my parents and most of my family. And when I say parents, I mean my mother and my step-father.

I lived with one brother and one sister and I was the youngest, which meant that I usually recieved all the picking on. I was the black-sheep of the family-- shunned and usually not welcome in the circle of friends that my siblings had.

So, I developed my own circle of friends.. mostly a few close ones that, like me, didn't have many to begin with and that were also shunned by the other kids.

Life was spent with humiliation added upon humiliation. Not only shunned by my family and peers, I was raped and malested by 4 different people. I will not put there names here.

I was also used beyond reason. Sexually, mentally, physically, socially. I thus became a very inverted, shy person. I never cared for the trends that came and went in my youth. I had decided that I am who I am, and I did everything to reflect that. I wore my own style of clothes, etc.

Then I started to care. I actually, besides the fact of keeping clean, decided to look nice. I wore a skirt and nice shirt to school that day.... I was shot down, told that if I was going to wear a dress that I could at least wear one that was in style. Well, that was the end of me wearing dresses to school.

I fought with depression my whole life. I still do to this day, but to some lesser degree. I don't know how many times that I have tried to take my own life. Those times are over now though. I will never attempt that again.

I've been married and divorced three times. Been through numerous relationships. Have 4 kids.. the love and joy of my life.

I was very much sheltered of life's lessons by my mother. I had to learn all those painful lessons later in life. Maybe it was better that way. I learned what I will and won't put up with. But it was later in life that I actually discovered who I was and why I was here in the first place. Upon this lesson, I matured.

I never was very bitter over my past, though I did hold on to it for a while. I just tried to understand why the things happened to me. When I finally understood that, I found forgiveness. Not only for the other people, but for myself. I learned to atone for my mistakes.

Then one day, about 8 years ago, I discovered the chat rooms. Here I found that I could be myself and no one cared. I found many friends there that were willing to listen, hug when I needed it, tell me a joke when I needed one, etc. I could be myself and no one cared what I looked like, what my religious preference was, or anything else. They just took me as I am. I never held anything back then, as I don't hold anything back now. In fact, I am still friends with everyone that I met on tripod chat.. just lost touch with some of them.

I also have continued my education by taking college courses, took a break, and after I moved to Alabama, started college courses again.

Moved to Mississippi in 2006. And now I'm making plans to leave a difficult situation. Things just haven't worked out the way I thought they would.

I've found some direction to my life. Though it may not seem like it at times.